My Name Is Pride

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment because you "deserve better than this".

I cheat you of knowledge because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing because you are too full of you to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness because you refuse to admit when you are wrong.

I cheat you of vision because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship because nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in heaven because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.

I cheat you of God's glory because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

And you like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.

Untrue

I'm looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...

If you stick with me you'll never know.

-Beth Moore

This may not resonate with you, but it resonates with me. Yesterday's sermon on pride and humility really hit home to me. I don't want to sound preachy, I just want to be open and honest. The following has been very heavy on my heart and I want to share it with you:

My life is consumed with vanities, stubbornness, comparisons, and boastings: Look at all I have. Look at all I have done. Look at all I have accomplished. I want the best house, the best car, the best job, and the best marriage. I want to be the best wife, best daughter, best sister, and best friend. I want all of these things because I need approval of others; I need others to look at me and think "Wow, she has it all. She must have it all figured out." 

I take the credit for all that God has given me. I look at my own life and I feel impressed with myself. I have the perfect job at age 25. I have an amazing husband that loves me. I have the best friends in the world. I have my health because of the healthy choices I make. I..., I..., I..., I... 

I have become enamored with the gifts, that I have forgotten the Giver. What do I have to be prideful about? What do I have that God hasn't given me? I control nothing. I know nothing. I am nothing, without Christ as the center of my life.

Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

I want to choose the path of humility. I need to have the constant filter of "Not what pleases me, but what pleases Him. Not what I want, but what He wants." I imagine what my life would look like if I constantly put God and others before myself; I imagine what my marriage, my friendships, my career would look like if I served and exalted others with a pure heart. 

My prayer is to push aside all vanity and boasting and for God to give me humility in everything I do.