The Results Are In

On April 10 I had a body scan to see where the radioactive iodine was absorbed. Since thyroid cells (normal and cancerous) are the only things that would take in the radiation, this test would show if the cancer had spread to any other parts of my body, the first places being in my lungs and bones.

Well, after a very long weekend of waiting, the doctor finally said that the cancer has not spread!

Praise the Lord!!

The scan did show three "spots" in my neck that could be cancer, but they absorbed the radiation which will hopefully kill it. Nothing in my bones and lungs "lit up", which means the radiation didn't go there, which means there is no cancer. I couldn't be happier!

I've always been an optimistic person, but these past couple of months have taken it out of me. The Worst Case Scenario seems to keep happening so it has been hard to hope for the best. I literally feared to pray for good things because I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment. It has been really hard to ask God for things lately because I know what it is like when he says no.

Yes, I know that is a distorted way to look at things- a wrong way to look at God, who loves to give us good gifts. Let's just say, I'm working on it... But luckily, I have friends who have taken it upon themselves to stand in my place and pray those things for me.

And God listened. Praise him!

The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in you. Zephaniah 3:17

Radioactive Iodine Treatment: Day 2 update

Hey guys! Im currently in day 2 of my radiation treatment and so far everything has gone fairly smooth. Let me back up for a minute to update you on the past week.

On Monday and Tuesday, March 31st and April 1, I had Thyrogen shots to prepare my body for radiation. One in each butt cheek. Nice. Before Thyrogen shots were available, one would have to stop taking their thyroid medication, causing them to go super hypothyroid. Like, "I can barely get out of bed or focus on what you're saying"-hypo.  I had no significant side effects from the shots besides slight fatigue at the end of Tuesday. So if insurance with pay for them, Thyrogen shots are the way to go!

I didn't sleep well Tuesday night, as I was anxious for the next day. I had to be at the hospital at 9:00 Wednesday morning to run the standard pregnancy tests. You cannot have this treatment if you are pregnant. I of course, was not pregnant. I knew this, but it was sad and weird to hear.

The next several hours consisted of a lot of waiting. I talked to the doctors who explained in science-terms what the radiation will do to my body, the risks, the precautions, and so forth. At noon they called me back to take the pill, which was in a heavy lead encasing. It looked like any other normal capsule, almost like a vitamin. Nothing too crazy. I didn't feel any different, but once I swallowed the pill I was instantly radioactive. Unfortunately, I was still unable to control objects with my mind or shoot spider webs from my wrists.

I immediately left the hospital, got in my car, and drove home to Fayetteville. (Josh did not come with me to Little Rock for this reason alone, as it was best not to be in the same car for the drive home.)

Now today is Friday and I'm practically 48 hours out. "Isolation" hasn't been too terrible so far; I can't share the bed with Josh or the dogs and they have to stay at least 6 feet away at all times. To pass the time I've watched the last season of Game of Thrones (the new season comes out on Sunday!), episodes of Friday Night Lights, and I've completed a lot of Sudoku puzzles. The radiation leaves my body through body fluids, namely bathroom activities, so I'm drinking water like it is my job and taking at least two showers a day. My neck/throat area is painful; sometimes it just feels sore and other times it feels like my throat is burning from the inside. This is to be expected, as this is the area the radiation is being absorbed the most. Also, I feel overall tired and achey, but that is common as well.

I'm overall pleased with the way things are going and I am SO thankful the past few days have been relatively easy. I've heard some horror stories and was preparing myself for the worst. The doctor also gave me the "okay" to resume a normal diet today, so I've already chowed down on a kolache and cinnamon roll and drank a big cup of milk. Delightful.

I go back to UAMS for a whole body scan on April 10th to see where in my body the radiation was absorbed, aka: where the cancer has spread. Please pray and plead with me that the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else and that we get a great and healthy report next week.

Now I'm off to order me a pizza. Yum!

My Burdens

During difficult times it is easy to be overwhelmed by everything going wrong. Heck, that can be true during any time in life. The whole "look how unfair it all is!" and "my life sucks!" is so very selfish and human.

When I lay in bed each night, when all the to-do's are over and my half of the world is asleep, I can feel the waters trying to drown me. Thinking about how messed up things seem, how much I miss Olivia and the life we were supposed to have with her, how I wish I could breathe and talk normally again, how I worry about this stupid cancer. It is all overwhelming. Seemingly too much to handle. 

And tomorrow I have to do it all over again.

Do you feel that way sometimes? That life is too much. That there is no possible way you can handle all of the stresses, sadness, and disappointment of this world? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Luckily, we can choose to give it over to someone who is bigger than it all. We have someone who wants to take our sorrows and bring us true joy. Each day and each moment we must intentionally give it to Jesus. 

Do you know what he tells us? 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Folks, the burdens of this world are way too much. I know I can't handle them. But his way is light and easy. And not only does he ask you to trade, but we will find rest!

Rest! That is music to my ears. 

I don't know about you, but I am tired. I am weary. And I have a lot of burdens.

So tonight, when I lay down and turn the noise of the world off, I won't let the storm consume me. I will choose to give my worries and disappointment over to him. I will trust in his promise of rest. And I will accept his gift. 

Radiation, here I come!

Hey folks. Alex here. Minus a thyroid, four lymph nodes, and a dollop of fat. I kid you not. The operative report literally stated they removed a dollop of fat. Now that's a bargain!

Don't mind that gross drain thing.
It was removed a few days after surgery.

My surgery on Feb 25 went well. It was confirmed that the cancer had spread to a few lymph nodes, which is what my endocrinologist suspected. However, what they didn't expect was how large the actual tumor was. This resulted in some trauma to my laryngeal nerves (which impacts voice and swallowing) and parathyroids (which helps control calcium levels).

So while the surgeon is happy with the procedure, recovery has been a bit more difficult than I expected. Three weeks later I am slowly weaning off my calcium medication but my parathyroid is still not wanting to fully cooperate. When my calcium levels drop, my hands, feet, nose, and lips tingle and go numb. While it may not be the worst thing in the world, it certainly isn't fun.

But the most debilitating side effect is the loss of my voice. The ENT had to pull the tumor off my laryngeal nerve but he was confident the nerves remained intact. The swelling and mild trauma has made it difficult to drink and I am only able to talk barely over a whisper. I am thankful this has slightly improved over the past few weeks, but I am far from normal. There is no way I can work until this has resolved. Good thing I know a skilled speech therapist who rocks at dysphagia and voice therapy!

Because of the tumor's size and confirmation that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes, the doctors recommend that I proceed with radioactive iodine treatment. I began a low-iodine diet March 17th to prepare my body for treatment on April 2nd. I will then be isolated from people and pets (6+ ft) for 14 days. I have a packed schedule full of finishing House of Cards, taking long walks, and reorganizing my closet.

So, there you have it. An update, a plan, and some specific things that you can pray for. And trust me, the prayers are being felt. While days are still hard, I have a hope and peace that only comes from God.

Micah 7:8 "Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."

God is good. All the time.