Before you read this post, let’s set a few things straight: I have the absolute perfect job and I am blessed beyond measure. I work in the perfect setting, I have amazing co-workers, and I truly love making a difference in my patient’s lives. I could not ask for more.
Since becoming married, I have enjoyed creating a little home for Josh and I. Because we are far away from our family and friends, it has been important for me to make this new place not just a pretty house, but also our home- a comfortable place where many ‘firsts’ for our marriage happen. These next few years will create the stories that start with “Remember that time when…”
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be the stereotypical housewife and stay-at-home mom. My dreams of becoming a veterinarian, then teacher, then speech pathologist were always paired with the exception “but when I have kids….”. Did I glamorize this homemaker role? Definitely. Do I still dream of it? Absolutely.
This ever-present desire makes me contemplate a few things.
1. Was I meant to be born in the era of Mad Men (aka. The 1960s)?
I mean, look at that style! Classic!
2. Am I being tricked into believing this is ‘Who I’m Suppose To Be’ to have the seemingly perfect family? If I want my husband to feel proud of me, and my kids not to turn out like whack-jobs, I need to be some kind of Mom/Wife/Chef/Seamstress/Volunteer/PTA-going/Church-Attending Super Woman? Is this some kind of culture-staged prank that I have blindly accepted?
3. Or was I designed to fulfill this role? I was purposefully made to be a mother, a nurturer, and a caretaker of our home- to provide for my family in a very specific and meaningful way. This long-standing desire isn’t some crazy notion, but a true calling.
Well, all that being said, I currently love where we are in life. I love using all this knowledge that I have worked hard to obtain and I love the moolah that comes with it. Being a sugar-momma to my student-husband sure has its perks. Additionally, we are nowhere close to starting to have kids. So I have plenty of time to debate the origin of this longing.
But until then, I will live vicariously through Betty Drapper (except with a faithful husband) and dream of the day when I can wake up with my kids, bake all day, and have dinner on the table when my husband comes home. (Trust me, I know life will never be that simple)
I always thought that the reason I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up was because I was supposed to stay home. But, now that I work, part of me thinks I still will when we have kids, at least in some capacity, because I'll need something that's my own. But I could definitely go for some Betty D. dresses.
ReplyDeleteI think craving to be a good homemaker and mom is definitely a part of the way we women are designed, I'm not even married and I feel that desire. But I'd also say that our culture has tried to define EXACTLY what success as a Mom and even a Woman looks like... a "Mom/Wife/Chef/Seamstress/Volunteer/PTA-going/Church-Attending Super Woman" haha. So true!
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