Wherever the River Runs: Review and Giveaway

It is an unusually cold and rainy September day, as I stand at the sink washing dishes. I turn the facet from cold to hot with a turn of the wrist, easily pouring warm water over my hands, sponge, and dirty pots. I look outside the window, seeing kids pedal their bikes past my fence sending my dogs into a barking hysteria.

I see a neighbor drive by, pull into their drive, and close their garage door before they even turn off their car. I wonder where they came from. I wonder if they had a difficult day. Then God nudges my heart.

Do I know my neighbor's needs? If I answer truthfully, no. I can't even tell you their names. I justify my disinterest by reminding myself we don't live here permanently. I brush off the desire convincing myself how awkward meeting strangers is. But a voice deep within speaks confidently. Nudges gently. Tells me to go.

God has told me to love. To open my heart, home, and life. Not under the conditions of convenience or recognition. Not so I can stamp another box in my passport as I visit dark countries. Not so I can check off my good-doer list.

But so that I can love. Like He loves me. So that I can share life, hope, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. 

I blame Kelly Minter. I blame her beautiful words, her witty humor, and her obedience to travel to the depths of the Amazon, and to then write a book about it. I can't un-read, what I have read. I can't un-know what God has revealed to me.

Wherever the River Runs is Kelly's story of how God lead her to the Amazon, to tribes of forgotten people, and opened her eye's to God's heart. It is a story of seeking. And finding.

"I wasn't sure in what ways my life would change, but my 'normal' life - my American one with the catalogs and dreams, the bills and closet full of clothes - could no longer remain the same... I'd soon realize I wouldn't have to reside in the Amazon to live amid a river of people whose burdens needed carrying. I needed only to look around me."

You guys, I can't recommend this book enough. Kelly is such a beautiful and amazing writer, and her heart is even better. Her words so capture this remote and forgotten land that you feel you are right beside her, swinging on a hammock, looking at the stars, and dreaming God size dreams.

And luckily, I have 1 book to giveaway courtesy of Family Christian (US only).

You can enter to win by:
*Commenting on this post, telling me how much you really want to win. 

*Share this giveaway on Facebook and/or retweet on Twitter.

*For additional entries you may follow Family Christian on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or Tumblr. Leave a comment on this post for each link you follow. 

A random comment will be selected Wednesday, October 1 at 8:00pm. I will contact you via email.

You guys. Seriously. Get this book. Like, now.

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Family Christian. I wasn't compensated in anyway, except for receiving Minter's book to review. All opinions are my own, of course. 

Giveaway closed.

The winner is: Dede! 
Congrats! Please contact me with your information. 

Library Love: Pursue the Intentional Life

I am apart of a Lord-loving, food-eating, and laughter-seeking girls group that has been meeting every Thursday for the past several years. They've grown together, grieved together, and have opened their arms and hearts to me.

This summer we read Purse the Intentional Life by Jean Fleming. And you guys, it changed my life. I want to shake each of you and demand you read it. Jean has concepts and thoughts that I have never considered before and she writes so beautifully. It's like snippets of her diary, a window into her heart.

The title explains what the book is about- how to live our lives with intention. How to slow down, redirect, and focus on what God really wants from our brief time on earth. Jean shares with us from her "old woman file" lessons God has taught her and questions she is still pursuing. Her searching ignites my hunger.

"I find that contemplating the end of life leads not to depression but to clarity and invigoration. Setting my life in parentheses and holding it at arm's length helps me to think more critically about the direction of my life..."

"...Life is short. Soon my life on earth will give way to my life in heaven. Rather than leading to panic, the reality leads to a peaceful and settled urgency. Although thoughts of heaven are so lovely to consider, the Lord reminds me that my short stay on earth is my only chance to honor Him with faith and faithfulness."

In my 19,000 some-odd days left on earth, Lord willing, I want my life to be intentional. I want my actions, my words, and my thoughts to be spirit-filled and God-led. I want to constantly refocus my gaze, realign my heart, and point others to the only hope we have. 

Upon the Water

You guys, this song speaks the words of my heart. It is the prayer of my soul. It is me crying out to God in desperation for help. Yearning for the trust that Jesus will never fail me and for the faith to stand in this ocean.

This year, if I've learned anything, it is that nothing in this world is guaranteed. That my life can go from "perfect" to a disaster in a matter of minutes. It only takes seconds to utter the word cancer or to see your baby has no heart beat.

But I'm not in this storm by myself. Jesus is walking on water saying that, with faith in him, I can walk too. That I will not drown if my feet are planted firmly with him.

You call me out upon the water

The great unknown, where feet may fail.

And there I find you in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand.

And I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours and you are mine.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

your sovereign hand will be my guide

My feet may fail and fears surrounds me

you've never failed and you won't start now

Sprit lead me where my trust is without boarders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever you will call me

Take me deeper than me feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

4 months

4 months

120 days

2880 hours

Every moment missing you

Wondering how your laugh would sound

how your skin would feel

how your hair would smell 

Looking at your empty crib

your new clothes

your unmoving rocking chair

The house was clean

your clothes were washed

the carseat installed

hearts were ready

It seems so strange to be a mom without a baby

with heart and arms so empty

But I don't grieve without hope

This isn't the end

just the other side of heaven

My Burdens

During difficult times it is easy to be overwhelmed by everything going wrong. Heck, that can be true during any time in life. The whole "look how unfair it all is!" and "my life sucks!" is so very selfish and human.

When I lay in bed each night, when all the to-do's are over and my half of the world is asleep, I can feel the waters trying to drown me. Thinking about how messed up things seem, how much I miss Olivia and the life we were supposed to have with her, how I wish I could breathe and talk normally again, how I worry about this stupid cancer. It is all overwhelming. Seemingly too much to handle. 

And tomorrow I have to do it all over again.

Do you feel that way sometimes? That life is too much. That there is no possible way you can handle all of the stresses, sadness, and disappointment of this world? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Luckily, we can choose to give it over to someone who is bigger than it all. We have someone who wants to take our sorrows and bring us true joy. Each day and each moment we must intentionally give it to Jesus. 

Do you know what he tells us? 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Folks, the burdens of this world are way too much. I know I can't handle them. But his way is light and easy. And not only does he ask you to trade, but we will find rest!

Rest! That is music to my ears. 

I don't know about you, but I am tired. I am weary. And I have a lot of burdens.

So tonight, when I lay down and turn the noise of the world off, I won't let the storm consume me. I will choose to give my worries and disappointment over to him. I will trust in his promise of rest. And I will accept his gift. 

My Valley

These past several weeks have been the hardest of my life. The amount of pain and sorrow I feel continue to take my breath away. The sadness is so deep people can't even imagine. It is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. 

Olivia. Cancer. 

I could blame it all on God. Point the finger and demand a reason why. Despite the desire to accuse God of this sorrow, despite my heart aching in pain and anger, my soul screams that that is not the God I know. 

The God I know is loving. The God I know is good. The God I know does not take away babies or give people illness. He is a comforter, a protector, and healer. He cries with me, as he knows the pain of losing a child too. 

Living in this world we are told that pain and sorrow will touch our lives. Not if, but when. 

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

For I am the Lord, your God,

you are precious to me.

You are honored, and I love you.

Isaiah 43:2-4

We all have our own storms. Unfaithful spouses, infertility, loss, disease. But what do you do when that storm comes? Do you rely on yourself, trying to outrun the rain or keep your head above water? Or do you draw close to God, who has a big 'ole umbrella to protect you?

Olivia. Cancer. This is my storm. This is my pain. This is the valley that I will walk through. 

And I am hunkered down next to God, trying to squeeze as closely to Him as possible. Holding on by a thread, scared of what may happen if I let go. Knowing the only thing that keeps me going each day is hope in Him. Hope that He isn't done with me yet. Hope in knowing I'll be with my sweet Olivia one day, forever. 

I'll remember the suffering that your LOVE put you through,

And I will walk through the valley, if you want me to. 

Keeping you posted

I will be going in for surgery to remove my thyroid on Tuesday, February 25th. Myself and the doctors wanted to remove the cancer as soon as possible, so soon after I delivered Olivia we scheduled the thyroidectomy. 

The pre-op appointment was this past Wednesday and I was told that the cancer had advanced to stage 2; the tumor has grown in size and they suspect it has spread to some surrounding lymph nodes.

This doesn't change the prognosis or treatment plan. The likelihood of beating this is still near 98% and I will receive the anticipated radioactive iodine treatment in the near future. 

The specific prayers we need:

*The surgery goes flawlessly, without complications. 

*The biopsied lymph nodes come back negatived for cancer.

* That recovery is quick and easy.

*For me to have peace and confidence in God. For me to feel his closeness and protection. 

Thank you for continuing to think of us and love us through it all. 

Weekend Monotony

Lately, when I talk to my friends and family from my home town, the first thing I am asked is "What have you been up to?" Although I understand the reasoning behind the question (and I always ask the question back), I hate answering. I don't enjoy answering the question because it makes my life seem dull and monotonous.

The response is usually something like "Oh, you know, same old stuff: working and running."

While that may seem rather boring to some people, I actually find my day-to-day life 100% enjoyable and packed with things I love.

This weekend was no different.

Friday I went out to eat with coworkers for a much needed evening of relaxation and laughter. After having a semi-stressful work week, it was nice to have fun with people I truly enjoy working with.

The best therapists in NWA fighting over a huge bowl of perfected quacalome

My Saturday looked like the same Saturday I have had for the past 12 weeks. I had a relaxing morning and a hardy breakfast, then completed my long run of 17 miles. This is hands down the longest I've ever run. Luckily, Josh ran the first 8 miles with me; the last 9 miles I tackled solo.

And while your running around Fayetteville for 17 miles, you might as well run errands while your out.

Hello massive-looking arm and tiny-sweaty head.

Our Redbox drop off is only 2.3 miles away. Having a purpose for the run made it feel a little different. Problem was, I didn't have quite the mission the other 14.7 miles.

But it was a successful long run nonetheless: total time- 3:04 with an average pace of 10:48. Not speedy, but I'll take it. One thing I've learned about marathon training is that I can't worry about my time. As this is my first marathon, my primary goal is just to get it done. So if I have to skip, hop, or crawl all 26.2 miles I will. And if it takes me 6 hours to complete, awesome. I just want to finish!


On Sunday, after church, Josh and I spent some quality time together grocery shopping and cleaning- oh so romantic.

Josh looking quite dashing. 

Sorry that I posted this honey. Wait, no I'm not.

Later in the day we kicked off the first meeting of the semester for our community group. We are starting a study called Real Marriage by Mark & Grace Driscoll. We are really excited about this study and what God has planned for our marriage. I'm also super pumped about getting to know the other couples in the group. There is something so special about getting together with other believers to encourage and support one another.

So, while my weekends may have the same theme over and over again, I wouldn't choose to spend them any other way. I love the consistency in my life!

What did you do this weekend? Do you find your weekends consist of the same activities? Do you love it or do you desire some more spontaneity? 

My Name Is Pride

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment because you "deserve better than this".

I cheat you of knowledge because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing because you are too full of you to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness because you refuse to admit when you are wrong.

I cheat you of vision because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship because nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in heaven because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.

I cheat you of God's glory because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

And you like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.

Untrue

I'm looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...

If you stick with me you'll never know.

-Beth Moore

This may not resonate with you, but it resonates with me. Yesterday's sermon on pride and humility really hit home to me. I don't want to sound preachy, I just want to be open and honest. The following has been very heavy on my heart and I want to share it with you:

My life is consumed with vanities, stubbornness, comparisons, and boastings: Look at all I have. Look at all I have done. Look at all I have accomplished. I want the best house, the best car, the best job, and the best marriage. I want to be the best wife, best daughter, best sister, and best friend. I want all of these things because I need approval of others; I need others to look at me and think "Wow, she has it all. She must have it all figured out." 

I take the credit for all that God has given me. I look at my own life and I feel impressed with myself. I have the perfect job at age 25. I have an amazing husband that loves me. I have the best friends in the world. I have my health because of the healthy choices I make. I..., I..., I..., I... 

I have become enamored with the gifts, that I have forgotten the Giver. What do I have to be prideful about? What do I have that God hasn't given me? I control nothing. I know nothing. I am nothing, without Christ as the center of my life.

Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

I want to choose the path of humility. I need to have the constant filter of "Not what pleases me, but what pleases Him. Not what I want, but what He wants." I imagine what my life would look like if I constantly put God and others before myself; I imagine what my marriage, my friendships, my career would look like if I served and exalted others with a pure heart. 

My prayer is to push aside all vanity and boasting and for God to give me humility in everything I do.